The Talk

When is the perfect time to have "the talk"? I would think it's good to have "the talk" multiple times throughout the courtship and/relationship. I actually got this idea from a guy that I dated briefly, we were embarking on 3 months of dating and he wanted to evaluate the relationship. Lucky for us both, that evaluation saved us a lot of time and heart break because we decided that we didn't have the chemistry needed for what we both were looking for: a healthy relationship.

"The talk" is not something that puts pressure on a person but it helps both parties see whether or not the relationship is a waste of time. I promised myself from now on, I apply this method to whomever I am seeing for more than one reason. For one, I am not dating for fun--I am dating for keeps. For two, I want a family, I want to marry my best-friend. Therefore, it's very important to me that that both parties are on the same page.

I have notice that Mr. J is so caught up on--enjoying what we have and that's all good but let us not forget the future.....To be continued.

The Case of the Ex

Here is some back story on Mr. J and a reflection of our first "real" date.

Disclaimer: To Maintain The Privacy of All Parties Involved--Names Will Be Altered.

Seeing this wasn't the first date but it the first "real" date that Mr. J and I been on, I was very comfortable around him and it was clear that I enjoyed his company.We went to this nice seafood restaurant near the city, since we both have a love for oysters we decided to meet up after work. I am proud to say that the date started off very well. He ordered for me (I think that's sexy because we already discussed what I wanted) and we ALWAYS have great conversation. So as the night we on--we continued to eat, drink and talk. Before we both realized, it was 11:30pm and we met at 7:15pm. After he walked me to my car (southern gentleman) he asked if I wanted to come back to his house. Since I have been to his house a few times before, I did think nothing of it. So I ended up going to his house where the good date I was on, was crumbling before my brown eyes!

Now I am all for honesty so we had a impromptu honesty hour and it was rather intense, to say the least. I was able to share something with him and he shared some things with me--some important details. LIKE HE IS STILL KICKING IT WITH HIS EX.

Let's rewind for a second: Before finally deciding to go out with Mr. J, I had met him twice before. And they say three time's a charm, right? Well that's what I was hoping for too! But the first time in 2010 I met him at a local hangout in the city and he told me he had a girlfriend. At least he was honest, but I didn't entertain him. I am person who don't like to date men who are married or have girlfriends--that's just me. Karma is a trick and will come back for you. With that being said every time I ran into him--I asked him about his girlfriend. But the third time--Mr. J told me that he was single. Now he didn't lie--but he could have added that he is NOT OVER his ex.

Back to present day, I don't like to date men who have the CASE OF THE EX. I mean we have all been there, believe you-me I know what it is like and it's NO FUN! It can also prevent you from what the future holds. Anywho, last night it came out that Mr. J still had feeling for his ex. This really changed the dynamics of our situation because I was literally--mentally done with him. However, he didn't want to be done with me. But I see it like this, Mr. J wanted to have his cake and eat it too!

Peep the scenario: He has his ex--who he is comfortable with and they have history. Then he has me: "New-New" who he has great conversation with, great chemistry and plus it's new. So what's a girl to do? Drop his ass like a hot potato? Or Take things slow and risk him going back to where his heart is?

Don't get it twisted, I like Mr. J and he is definitely a keeper thus far! Oh it doesn't hurt that he's a looker too! Just a good man with a MESSED up situation. Hopefully I will be able to make some type of decision regarding what I am going to do but for now I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride , oh and his company!!

The Missing Piece

Picnics are something that I love to have with people that I truly like. The concept of being in a peaceful place where you can marvel over one another and learn about each others likes and dislike is such a beautiful thing.

Mr. J and I went on a picnic, while it was beautiful something was missing. Before I go any further I must say--I really like Mr. J but I wouldn't mind being exclusive with him. **Gasp** Yes, I am admitting this but I have chosen to accept our relationship of uncommitted courtship until "HE" is ready to move forward.

Now this IS the story of my life--being ready to move forward while the guy is simply enjoying the perks of having a girlfriend without the title. Am I allowing the cycle to continue? And how do I break it? I know what I want but not quite sure how to obtain or maintain it for that matter.

So as we ate our picnic snacks-all I could do was look at the sky and wonder how long is it going to take this man to see we are "two of a kind;"--maybe six months, hell maybe even a year. Am I willing to play the uncommitted courtship game for that long? That is the question I must ask myself while I am on the journey, before I let another four years of my life pass me by......

Speechless.....

The Great Escape

While you are reading this post I am probably off to my overnight stay at Chateau Elan Winery to celebrate my anniversary (Knowing each other for 4 years and dating for 3). I consider myself a wino, well not really but a girl loves a good glass of riesling or merlot.  So I am beyond excited to get to go this winery, enjoy the ambiance and spent some well needed time with MY MAN. Here's a taste of what we are enjoying:

 











I promise I will give you updates after I return from my Great Escape!

Question?

It's funny when I read this I automatically thought about Mr. Everything! Life is just full of surprises, I think about when I met him I was a "party" girl and he came in changed my whole life and added a balance in my life. I credit God for everything because if it wasn't for his will I probably would have never met my Mr. Everything! If you have a Mr. Everything, call or go tell him that you love him because it's not everyday you meet a good guy!!

What Is Love?

In celebration of my four-year anniversary; the exact day I met my Mr. Everything here is a poem, that I adore and I hope you adore it too!

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Love isn't an act, its a whole life.
its staying with her now because
she needs you; its knowing you
and she will still care about each other when
sex and daydreams, fights and futures -
when all that's on the shelf and done with.
Love-why. I'll tell you what love is:
it's you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one.
each of you listening for the other's
step in the next room. each afraid that a
sudden silence, a sudden cry,
could mean that a lifetime's talk is over
~Brian Moore

How Long Is Too Long?

Me and my girls always manage to have this topic of discussion at some point of the night when we are all hanging out: How long is too long to date someone before being engaged? Now let me start by saying I am not EXPERT on this, my statements are my very own personal opinions. But I have two takes on this.

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My First Take: Honestly, for me I feel that 5 years is a long time, especially when you date someone after college or after the age of 21. Now for those who date their high school sweethearts or date through college I would say anywhere between 6-10 yrs may be acceptable.

For me, four years is perfect because I have surpassed the utopia dating phase, although I still get butterflies in my stomach after three and a half years. I was able to meet his immediately family, his extended family, and his friends and get to know and love them. I’ve also had time to adapt to all his faults and he certainly has had time to adapt to mine, although I don’t have many (smiling)! We have been able to grow together—from being party animals to becoming more mature adults. (Nothing’s wrong with partying, I have just been there and done ALL of that) We have talked about finances and we have been able to witness each other successes in our careers. We have also been through the worst— about a year and a half ago Mr. Everything lost his job due to the economy. Thank God, with prayer and support we were able to survive that period in his life and he found another great job(More Money) !!! With that being said—for me I know that I am ready for marriage because I know that God sent Mr. Everything just for me. It’s all about timing and chemistry and despite our hardships—everything fell into place!

My Second Take: Everyone doesn’t want to get married, therefore if you have two people who agree that they both want companionship without marriage then may they have my blessing. As long as you are happy, that’s all that matters!

In your opinion: How long is too long to date someone before being engaged?

Happy Birthday Mr. Everything

Happy Birthday, To My Special Treasure

God gave a gift to the world when you were born— a person who loves, who cares, who sees a person’s need and fills it, who encourages and lifts people up, who spends energy on others rather than himself, someone who touches each life he enters, and makes a difference in the world, because ripples of kindness flow outward as each person you have touched, touches others. Your birthday deserves to be a national holiday, because you are a special treasure for all that you’ve done. May the love you have shown to others return to you, multiplied. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, and many, many more, so that others have time to appreciate you as much as I do.
By Joanna Fuchs

Today is my Mr. Everything's birthday and he is turning 28 years young! I am so excited, I love celebrating and I have something really nice and simple planned for him! I hope he has a great day at work (No he didn't take off) and have a wonderful birthday! Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Is This Possible?

This is how I feel right now! I shall explain later! :(

Someone is Turning 28 Very Soon

Mr. Everything’s birthday is next Tuesday and I still haven’t gotten his gift yet! Yes, I know I am just as bad as a dude. But I have had so much going on I haven’t had time to go shopping! However I am faced with a dilemma!! I am trying to come up with a birthday dinner made by yours truly: Ms. Chaotic Bliss! I normally don’t beg but if you lovely ladies have any unique ideas on romantic decorating (on a budget) please feel free to help a chick in need!

HELP ME!!!!

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My family out in Blog Land I need your help! Today I send a text to my Mr. Everything and here’s how the text went!

Me: Babe if you are ever compelled to ask me to take your hand in marriage, please DON’T consult with my friends.
Mr. Everything: LOL Why not?
Me: Babe, please tell me that you didn’t consult with my friends.
Mr. Everything: Lol I am sorry
Me: What? What are you sorry for? Please tell me you didn’t!
Mr. Everything: Calm Down! I didn’t know you were at odds with your friends.
Me: I am calm sweetie! I am NOT at odds! I’m just at a point in my life where I am trying to figure out the people that I want and need to be apart of the next phase in my life. That’s all…
Mr. Everything: Silence a.k.a NO REPLY TEXT

Now I am heated and pretty darn upset. Because if he needed help, he could ask my mom, his mom, his cousins…..I mean there are so many options! I guess ultimately I want my "true" friends to be surprised with me, is that being selfish? Please I need honest feedback!

Can A Girl Dream?

No, I am not engaged…but can a girl dream! These are a few engagement rings that I adore. Me and Mr. Everything went to look at rings in January and I fell head over heels instantly with the Pave’ style. I am a simple kind of girl and I want something simple, classy and chic! Take a look at My Wedding Porn:

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Anxiously Waiting....

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Could being anxious about becoming engaged to Mr. Everything be the cause of my irritation lately? I Think So! Lately I have been very irritated and I believe it’s because I know our anniversary is coming up in three weeks and we are going to Chateau Elan and then my birthday is a week after and we are going to see my family in Michigan—so I have a feeling that I may be getting a ring with in the next month or so!

While I try not to think about it, I can’t help myself—hence the fact that I HATE surprises, I really don’t want to be “unarmed” when he or if he pops the question. If I am “unarmed” there will be waterworks and we really don’t want or need that. I hate being clueless! I was banking that my mom and dad had my back but after this weekend of trickery with my mom and boyfriend—I can’t believe her either! (Sigh) What Is A Girl To Do? How did any one else handle waiting for the engagement?

The Key To Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

I am by far no where near a relationship expert but I have been through a lot with my Mr. Everything and all that we have gone through both good and bad have brought us closer together! No one knows this but all throughout our relationship, especially in the beginning when we were getting serious, meeting families and traveling. I prayed and ask God to show me if this man is the man you want me to be with, lead me and guide me as I go through this journey. I made sure that it was God’s plan from the beginning and not mine! Many people meet guys and they shut the guy down because it’s not what they want. But people should start thinking about what God wants and I am pretty sure—a difference will come out of who you date. Praying is the center of MAINTAINING a healthy relationship but first you must:

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The Beginning: Me and Mr. Everything

How Did I Meet My Mr. Everything?

There is no need for tissue because this story is actually quite amusing! I met him Saturday, August 20, 2005 as I was walking to the car leaving the club in Buckhead (Atlanta, Georgia). As I was going to the car with my friends, I heard a guy say: Excuse me! I must admit I had a FEW drinks but as I was about to stop, one of my friends screamed: Let’s go! But while one friend was saying let’s go, another friend said: Talk to him, girl! So what could a girl do? I stopped and we talked briefly for about 10 min. In that 10 minute frame, I found out that he was from Macon, Georgia now residing in Atlanta and he found out that I was heading to Macon to work at a news station. :) The first night we met he mentioned something about me going to his mom house for a plate, if I ever needed some home cooking! Now, I am very careful about the people I deal with especially randoms I meet and this dude is asking me to go to his mom’s house?! Red alert sirens immediately went off in my head (CRAZY CRAZY) but I wrote it off and we exchanged numbers and I went about my merry way!

A few days passed and he called me! Wait, it’s not what you think; I wasn’t really pressed about him calling me! Only because I was enjoying life and I was meeting a lot of different guys during that summer so meeting another one didn’t really impress me! But any way, he called to tell me that he was going out of town for work. My reply was, “Okay?” Have fun! Clearly, I was wondering why is he calling telling me this! So from the end of August to the beginning of October we played the phone game! And I may add, he was very persistent, while I was nonchalant!

So after we played the phone game one night, I decided to talk to him and we stayed on the phone for four to five hours talking about EVERYTHING! He opened up to me about his past and where he is headed now! I was shocked and scared at the same time because I was thinking, “Why is he telling me all of this, he doesn’t even know me”?( But I am happy that he did) A few days after our intimate conversation we met up and watched a movie. And mentally and spiritually-- we haven’t been apart since……

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(I know that God has a plan for me and Mr. Everything. However there was a time I was trying to go on my own plan but God pulled a diversion and me and Mr. Everything are walking in this journey called life…with one foot at a time with the Lord as our anchor)

The Simplest Things

Sometimes I can be a very complex individual, well most times! And sometimes I wonder how does my Mr. Everything puts up with me and may I say he handles me very well!! But on the flip side of it all me being complex = the simplest things make me smile. My Mr. Everything is nowhere near romantic but it's the small gestures. For example: he loves to cuddle! Now how cute is that! He also has no problem with PDA (public display affection) and he is so gentle with my feelings. Always making sure that I am okay and that I am happy!! It's the little things he does on an everyday basis is what keeps me smiling.

No One Said Life Was Easy, Or Did They?

As you all may know I am a graduate student—well I'm a non tradition graduate student; which means I work full time and go to school! How do I manage to do it? Yes that’s what I want to know! It is hard and times do get tough. I am constantly reminding myself that I will get through this, or saying to myself "this too shall past" in order for me to continue pressing forward. Working and going to grad school is hard, the work load is heavier and of course more is expected out of you. But I manage to deal and excel, I am by no means a quitter but trust me I’ve come close! Besides my constant drive, my family and mi novio makes this so easy for me to continue. They are so supportive and behind me 110%. However, my Mr. Everything gets the short end of the stick because we don’t get to enjoy each other as much as we would like, we do manage to have date nights, which I do enjoy! But it’s hard keeping everything together without breaking down. With that being said:
Images via vi.sualize.us and Absolutely Beautiful Things

Just Let Go!

My dear friend LC has been really going through a lot in the past couple of months, getting to know herself and what she wants out of life regarding a relationship in the near future! I have been knowing LC for a few years now and I actually look at her like a little sister we are only a few months apart but hey, I am older. But I digress, I've witness her grow, I've seen her happy and sad. She is the type of person, who want to be in control of the situation all of the time--but most of the time it can lead to a disastrous place. But I really want what's best for her, so LC if you are reading this, here’s a message for you:

Image via vi.sualize.us

Sometimes it's good to let go! :) Love ya LC!