The Little Things #1

Me: “Maybe this is not good timing for us.” 

Him: “This is actually perfect timing.”

Me: (Heart smiling)

“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.”---Unknown

The Case of the Ex

Here is some back story on Mr. J and a reflection of our first "real" date.

Disclaimer: To Maintain The Privacy of All Parties Involved--Names Will Be Altered.

Seeing this wasn't the first date but it the first "real" date that Mr. J and I been on, I was very comfortable around him and it was clear that I enjoyed his company.We went to this nice seafood restaurant near the city, since we both have a love for oysters we decided to meet up after work. I am proud to say that the date started off very well. He ordered for me (I think that's sexy because we already discussed what I wanted) and we ALWAYS have great conversation. So as the night we on--we continued to eat, drink and talk. Before we both realized, it was 11:30pm and we met at 7:15pm. After he walked me to my car (southern gentleman) he asked if I wanted to come back to his house. Since I have been to his house a few times before, I did think nothing of it. So I ended up going to his house where the good date I was on, was crumbling before my brown eyes!

Now I am all for honesty so we had a impromptu honesty hour and it was rather intense, to say the least. I was able to share something with him and he shared some things with me--some important details. LIKE HE IS STILL KICKING IT WITH HIS EX.

Let's rewind for a second: Before finally deciding to go out with Mr. J, I had met him twice before. And they say three time's a charm, right? Well that's what I was hoping for too! But the first time in 2010 I met him at a local hangout in the city and he told me he had a girlfriend. At least he was honest, but I didn't entertain him. I am person who don't like to date men who are married or have girlfriends--that's just me. Karma is a trick and will come back for you. With that being said every time I ran into him--I asked him about his girlfriend. But the third time--Mr. J told me that he was single. Now he didn't lie--but he could have added that he is NOT OVER his ex.

Back to present day, I don't like to date men who have the CASE OF THE EX. I mean we have all been there, believe you-me I know what it is like and it's NO FUN! It can also prevent you from what the future holds. Anywho, last night it came out that Mr. J still had feeling for his ex. This really changed the dynamics of our situation because I was literally--mentally done with him. However, he didn't want to be done with me. But I see it like this, Mr. J wanted to have his cake and eat it too!

Peep the scenario: He has his ex--who he is comfortable with and they have history. Then he has me: "New-New" who he has great conversation with, great chemistry and plus it's new. So what's a girl to do? Drop his ass like a hot potato? Or Take things slow and risk him going back to where his heart is?

Don't get it twisted, I like Mr. J and he is definitely a keeper thus far! Oh it doesn't hurt that he's a looker too! Just a good man with a MESSED up situation. Hopefully I will be able to make some type of decision regarding what I am going to do but for now I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride , oh and his company!!

The Missing Piece

Picnics are something that I love to have with people that I truly like. The concept of being in a peaceful place where you can marvel over one another and learn about each others likes and dislike is such a beautiful thing.

Mr. J and I went on a picnic, while it was beautiful something was missing. Before I go any further I must say--I really like Mr. J but I wouldn't mind being exclusive with him. **Gasp** Yes, I am admitting this but I have chosen to accept our relationship of uncommitted courtship until "HE" is ready to move forward.

Now this IS the story of my life--being ready to move forward while the guy is simply enjoying the perks of having a girlfriend without the title. Am I allowing the cycle to continue? And how do I break it? I know what I want but not quite sure how to obtain or maintain it for that matter.

So as we ate our picnic snacks-all I could do was look at the sky and wonder how long is it going to take this man to see we are "two of a kind;"--maybe six months, hell maybe even a year. Am I willing to play the uncommitted courtship game for that long? That is the question I must ask myself while I am on the journey, before I let another four years of my life pass me by......

A Change Has Come.........

"We need to have bi-weekly lunches because your life is always changing". That is what a long time friend recently said to me and she was absolutely correct. The man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with is no longer in the picture and I am living my life as a single female; and I am happy about it.

Here's a brief update:

I brought a house. I got a dog. I ended a 4 year plus relationship. I finished grad school. I dated a few losers. I lost a best friend (no she is not dead). I gained a few great friends. Gained many associates. Found a great guy, who I am currently dating and we are in a uncommitted courtship.

So there you have it, my life is ever changing and so is my blog. While my life will and always be considered a Chaotic Bliss--I would like to blog more about my love life or there lack of. So without further ado, my new blog is entitled Uncommitted Courtship! Hope you enjoy!

"Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."
-Joan Didion from The Year of Magical Thinking

Secret Love......

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I love erasers! There I said it. I LOVE ERASERS! I know many of you may think I am a loony and/or psycho but I have a love for erasers. Please, don’t judge we all have our quirks and this is just ONE of mine! Not many people know about my secret love for this rubber stationary that is used for removing pencil and some pen writings. I actually have a secret love for erasers, they are so unique and very handy. I believe that my reasons for loving erasers stem from me wanting to erase all the bad and replace it with good.

Erasers are used to edit pencil writings making them disappear, sometimes I wish I can use an eraser and make the world a more serene and peaceful place. Erase the world’s poverty, erase the recession, erase the hate, erase the violence, and erase evil people. You get my drift…….


If you could erase something, what would you erase?

Love Notes Pt I

I love it when people leave me notes, especially inspirational notes or the cutesy notes! So without further ado, here are a few cute love notes:

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Wedding Paparazzi

I love the wedding paparazzi and there are a few at every wedding--so I am sure you all can relate! Since I adore them, this post is dedicated to the wedding paparazzi! Enjoy

You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore....but let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
- Kahlil Gibran

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The Storm

Sometimes I wonder how Mr. Everything puts up with me! As of lately, I have been boggled down with school,  very indecisive about food choices, tired and drained aka a bit psycho.

Nevertheless, he is the calm air to my crazy world; the clear sky to my rainy days! He remains so calm in the midst of any storm, even when I am the "STORM" and I love him! I think about how:

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With my crazy life and his calm spirit sometimes just talking to him just makes a gloomy day a bit brighter.

Speechless.....

One Of My Favorites.....

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What Is Love?

In celebration of my four-year anniversary; the exact day I met my Mr. Everything here is a poem, that I adore and I hope you adore it too!

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Love isn't an act, its a whole life.
its staying with her now because
she needs you; its knowing you
and she will still care about each other when
sex and daydreams, fights and futures -
when all that's on the shelf and done with.
Love-why. I'll tell you what love is:
it's you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one.
each of you listening for the other's
step in the next room. each afraid that a
sudden silence, a sudden cry,
could mean that a lifetime's talk is over
~Brian Moore

How Long Is Too Long?

Me and my girls always manage to have this topic of discussion at some point of the night when we are all hanging out: How long is too long to date someone before being engaged? Now let me start by saying I am not EXPERT on this, my statements are my very own personal opinions. But I have two takes on this.

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My First Take: Honestly, for me I feel that 5 years is a long time, especially when you date someone after college or after the age of 21. Now for those who date their high school sweethearts or date through college I would say anywhere between 6-10 yrs may be acceptable.

For me, four years is perfect because I have surpassed the utopia dating phase, although I still get butterflies in my stomach after three and a half years. I was able to meet his immediately family, his extended family, and his friends and get to know and love them. I’ve also had time to adapt to all his faults and he certainly has had time to adapt to mine, although I don’t have many (smiling)! We have been able to grow together—from being party animals to becoming more mature adults. (Nothing’s wrong with partying, I have just been there and done ALL of that) We have talked about finances and we have been able to witness each other successes in our careers. We have also been through the worst— about a year and a half ago Mr. Everything lost his job due to the economy. Thank God, with prayer and support we were able to survive that period in his life and he found another great job(More Money) !!! With that being said—for me I know that I am ready for marriage because I know that God sent Mr. Everything just for me. It’s all about timing and chemistry and despite our hardships—everything fell into place!

My Second Take: Everyone doesn’t want to get married, therefore if you have two people who agree that they both want companionship without marriage then may they have my blessing. As long as you are happy, that’s all that matters!

In your opinion: How long is too long to date someone before being engaged?

Only The Strong Survives

When you are dating a guy at what point do you start thinking about engagements and weddings? Many people in today’s society are so judgmental; when they feel that a person isn’t dating long enough, or if they feel the couple isn’t compatible or if they feel there’s a large age gap within the relationship they throw stones at that union. Well my response to them is: GET A LIFE!! I don’t have any one the following going on in my relationship but I said that to say, many people will NEVER be happy for you when you are in LOVE! I am learning that the hard way! My mom always tells me, as you travel this road in the near future you may lose some friends; the ones you lose they were NEVER your friend from the start! I didn’t understand her until recently! Unfortunately, everyone isn’t going to be happy for you and some may be waiting for you and your relationship to fail but as long as you and your mate are comfortable with each other and your relationship is centered around God and prayer, nothing or no one can pull you apart!

Can A Girl Dream?

No, I am not engaged…but can a girl dream! These are a few engagement rings that I adore. Me and Mr. Everything went to look at rings in January and I fell head over heels instantly with the Pave’ style. I am a simple kind of girl and I want something simple, classy and chic! Take a look at My Wedding Porn:

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Anxiously Waiting....

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Could being anxious about becoming engaged to Mr. Everything be the cause of my irritation lately? I Think So! Lately I have been very irritated and I believe it’s because I know our anniversary is coming up in three weeks and we are going to Chateau Elan and then my birthday is a week after and we are going to see my family in Michigan—so I have a feeling that I may be getting a ring with in the next month or so!

While I try not to think about it, I can’t help myself—hence the fact that I HATE surprises, I really don’t want to be “unarmed” when he or if he pops the question. If I am “unarmed” there will be waterworks and we really don’t want or need that. I hate being clueless! I was banking that my mom and dad had my back but after this weekend of trickery with my mom and boyfriend—I can’t believe her either! (Sigh) What Is A Girl To Do? How did any one else handle waiting for the engagement?

The Key To Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

I am by far no where near a relationship expert but I have been through a lot with my Mr. Everything and all that we have gone through both good and bad have brought us closer together! No one knows this but all throughout our relationship, especially in the beginning when we were getting serious, meeting families and traveling. I prayed and ask God to show me if this man is the man you want me to be with, lead me and guide me as I go through this journey. I made sure that it was God’s plan from the beginning and not mine! Many people meet guys and they shut the guy down because it’s not what they want. But people should start thinking about what God wants and I am pretty sure—a difference will come out of who you date. Praying is the center of MAINTAINING a healthy relationship but first you must:

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The Beginning: Me and Mr. Everything

How Did I Meet My Mr. Everything?

There is no need for tissue because this story is actually quite amusing! I met him Saturday, August 20, 2005 as I was walking to the car leaving the club in Buckhead (Atlanta, Georgia). As I was going to the car with my friends, I heard a guy say: Excuse me! I must admit I had a FEW drinks but as I was about to stop, one of my friends screamed: Let’s go! But while one friend was saying let’s go, another friend said: Talk to him, girl! So what could a girl do? I stopped and we talked briefly for about 10 min. In that 10 minute frame, I found out that he was from Macon, Georgia now residing in Atlanta and he found out that I was heading to Macon to work at a news station. :) The first night we met he mentioned something about me going to his mom house for a plate, if I ever needed some home cooking! Now, I am very careful about the people I deal with especially randoms I meet and this dude is asking me to go to his mom’s house?! Red alert sirens immediately went off in my head (CRAZY CRAZY) but I wrote it off and we exchanged numbers and I went about my merry way!

A few days passed and he called me! Wait, it’s not what you think; I wasn’t really pressed about him calling me! Only because I was enjoying life and I was meeting a lot of different guys during that summer so meeting another one didn’t really impress me! But any way, he called to tell me that he was going out of town for work. My reply was, “Okay?” Have fun! Clearly, I was wondering why is he calling telling me this! So from the end of August to the beginning of October we played the phone game! And I may add, he was very persistent, while I was nonchalant!

So after we played the phone game one night, I decided to talk to him and we stayed on the phone for four to five hours talking about EVERYTHING! He opened up to me about his past and where he is headed now! I was shocked and scared at the same time because I was thinking, “Why is he telling me all of this, he doesn’t even know me”?( But I am happy that he did) A few days after our intimate conversation we met up and watched a movie. And mentally and spiritually-- we haven’t been apart since……

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(I know that God has a plan for me and Mr. Everything. However there was a time I was trying to go on my own plan but God pulled a diversion and me and Mr. Everything are walking in this journey called life…with one foot at a time with the Lord as our anchor)

The Simplest Things

Sometimes I can be a very complex individual, well most times! And sometimes I wonder how does my Mr. Everything puts up with me and may I say he handles me very well!! But on the flip side of it all me being complex = the simplest things make me smile. My Mr. Everything is nowhere near romantic but it's the small gestures. For example: he loves to cuddle! Now how cute is that! He also has no problem with PDA (public display affection) and he is so gentle with my feelings. Always making sure that I am okay and that I am happy!! It's the little things he does on an everyday basis is what keeps me smiling.

Spread The Love!

If you LOVE someone take just a few minutes out of day and let them know; it will definitely go along way! Loving someone is a wonderful feeling but letting one know is even better! Take the time to spread the love! I love you all for taking the time out to read my blog post! Spread the Love!!