Monday, May 23, 2011

The Case of the Ex

Here is some back story on Mr. J and a reflection of our first "real" date.

Disclaimer: To Maintain The Privacy of All Parties Involved--Names Will Be Altered.

Seeing this wasn't the first date but it the first "real" date that Mr. J and I been on, I was very comfortable around him and it was clear that I enjoyed his company.We went to this nice seafood restaurant near the city, since we both have a love for oysters we decided to meet up after work. I am proud to say that the date started off very well. He ordered for me (I think that's sexy because we already discussed what I wanted) and we ALWAYS have great conversation. So as the night we on--we continued to eat, drink and talk. Before we both realized, it was 11:30pm and we met at 7:15pm. After he walked me to my car (southern gentleman) he asked if I wanted to come back to his house. Since I have been to his house a few times before, I did think nothing of it. So I ended up going to his house where the good date I was on, was crumbling before my brown eyes!

Now I am all for honesty so we had a impromptu honesty hour and it was rather intense, to say the least. I was able to share something with him and he shared some things with me--some important details. LIKE HE IS STILL KICKING IT WITH HIS EX.

Let's rewind for a second: Before finally deciding to go out with Mr. J, I had met him twice before. And they say three time's a charm, right? Well that's what I was hoping for too! But the first time in 2010 I met him at a local hangout in the city and he told me he had a girlfriend. At least he was honest, but I didn't entertain him. I am person who don't like to date men who are married or have girlfriends--that's just me. Karma is a trick and will come back for you. With that being said every time I ran into him--I asked him about his girlfriend. But the third time--Mr. J told me that he was single. Now he didn't lie--but he could have added that he is NOT OVER his ex.

Back to present day, I don't like to date men who have the CASE OF THE EX. I mean we have all been there, believe you-me I know what it is like and it's NO FUN! It can also prevent you from what the future holds. Anywho, last night it came out that Mr. J still had feeling for his ex. This really changed the dynamics of our situation because I was literally--mentally done with him. However, he didn't want to be done with me. But I see it like this, Mr. J wanted to have his cake and eat it too!

Peep the scenario: He has his ex--who he is comfortable with and they have history. Then he has me: "New-New" who he has great conversation with, great chemistry and plus it's new. So what's a girl to do? Drop his ass like a hot potato? Or Take things slow and risk him going back to where his heart is?

Don't get it twisted, I like Mr. J and he is definitely a keeper thus far! Oh it doesn't hurt that he's a looker too! Just a good man with a MESSED up situation. Hopefully I will be able to make some type of decision regarding what I am going to do but for now I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride , oh and his company!!